Purpose

a Toast to the Bride in Letter Form

Big Sister #1

Alisha. Instead of giving some speech about what you should and shouldn’t do in order to have the best marriage possible, your big sisters co-wrote you a letter. We wrote it with all the experience we’ve had so far in our own marriages, and it has become a letter we wish we could’ve also given to our younger selves… Once again, being the youngest, we’ll just say, ‘You’re welcome’. Because we’re about to give you a highlight reel, or fair warning, of what’s to come.

Our letter reads:

Dear Younger Me (i.e. Alisha),

There will be guys who take advantage of your kindness and beauty – particularly one guy – but I won’t tell you not to date them, because now I can tell you that all those not-so-great dudes have prepared you to see all the things you do deserve out of a relationship. You will learn that loving your best friend, and letting him love all of you, will give you more satisfaction than … let’s say any number of abs or Disney, debonair looks. Being loved because of all your faults? Now that is sexy.

Big Sister #2

Speaking of Disney, news-flash! It’s not real. There is no such thing as perfect, and that’s not the goal.

Somehow, Disney forgot the most important part of the plot – the heroine chooses imperfection, in the end. She chooses to marry the handsome man who is not a prince but instead he’s simply the kindest to her and everyone he meets. He’s the hardest working. And most importantly, he treats you like a princess. Because, you are.

Big Sister #1

One more thing Disney didn’t get right…  there isn’t a happily-ever-after. Instead, it’s something much better. 

Your Wedding Day, this day you’ve dreamed of since you were a little girl, is actually a day just like any other day. But on this ordinary day, you’ve made an extraordinary commitment you will choose to honor for the rest of your life.

Of course, you will fondly remember the butterflies, but you won’t put those feelings on a pedestal and say ‘that’s how it’s always supposed to feel’. Instead, let the memory of those feelings ground you in the fact that on that special, ordinary day he chose you and you chose him. Out of billions, you came together. Your stories are forever intertwined and it’s up to the both of you to figure out how your story continues. So, listen, learn, and understand something new about each other every day; write us a good one!

And another thing,

Don’t have kids. 

Big Sister #2

Yet.

They do tend to ruin things… Like, carpeting, flooring, dry wall, sofas, lamp shades, Christmas trees, your favorite coffee mugs…They can run that romance straight outta the house!

When you choose to start a family together, that will be the most wonderful decision! But I say to you with all sincerity, take your time. Do what’s best for the two of you. You’ll be glad you set the foundation for your relationship – for your parenting style – long before you hold your little miracles. 

I guess what I am saying in all of this is, enjoy the journey. Enjoy the every day. Make the most of your moments, together. I know you’ve worked so hard for your wedding day celebration – and it’s amazing! I know it’s lived up to your deepest expectations and that you’re also ready for Part II of your book to begin alongside your person.

And a note for your new husband… thank you for being so loving. Thank you for being a gracious, giving, and a strong man. Welcome to this crazy family! We are A LOT. But then, so is yours. May you remember that today is the beginning of your ‘us’, and as your new unit grows, may you choose your ‘us’ over-and-over-again.

With Love,

Older(and Wiser) You

Cheers!